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If you want to make an upcoming birthday a fun and light celebration, the post of today will help you.
In it I want 91 of the witty and most funny birthday to share about young people, aging and living.
Use one or a few of them in a map, in a text or a social media post on Instagram, for example.
Or just use one of them in your birthday speech for your friend, sister, brother, colleague or who you are celebrating to make them laugh and make their special day even more fun.
Funny Birthday Cities for Friends (and your best friend)
“You are only young once, but you can remain immature for an indefinite period of time.”
– Ogden Nash
“I believe that you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I give the favor back. Happy birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a cake and someone is drunk in the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You are not 40, you are 18 with 22 years of experience.”
– Unknown
“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside, every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell has happened.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a moderately good game with a poorly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana.”
– Betty White
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, to eat slowly and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of spirit about matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are the way nature to tell us to eat more cake.”
– Unknown
“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric frying pan for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age is not important unless you are a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I am at an age when my back goes out more than me.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I believe in loyalty. If a woman reaches an age that she likes, she must stay there.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was seven. She is now ninety -seven and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
– Ellen Degeneres
“Ultimately, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and starts to scoop it up.”
– Will Rogers
“The first hundred years are the most difficult.”
– Wilson Mizner
“If a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. But if my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From birth to the age of 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35 years she needs a good appearance. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 she needs good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Short and funny birthday scits to get older
“You know that you grow old if the candles cost more than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of spirit above matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You are in Mint for a vintage model. Congratulations on your birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Old age is like everything else. To make it a success, you have to start young.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it will avoid you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I will never be an old man. For me, old age is always 15 years older than me.”
– Francis Bacon
“Don’t forget, once you get over the hill, start to catch speed.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I grew up to respect my elderly, so now I don’t have to respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There is still no remedy for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn
“You know that you are older when you read events, you lived in a history book.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a number and mine is not mentioned.”
– Unknown
“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”
– Chile Davis
“You know that you get old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like:” See if you can blow this out. “
– Jerry Seinfeld
“The middle age is when you still believe that you will feel better in the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is that your memory is going, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Norman Wisdom
“You know that you get old when everything hurts. And what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“Everything that goes up has to come down. But there will come a time when not everything that is finished can come.”
– George Burns
“We don’t get old. If we stop growing, we get old.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Funny Birthday Cities For Women On Graceful Aging
“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please do not retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t need you to remember my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t intend to gracefully old. I am planning to have face lifts until my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“You know that you have reached middle age when you have been warned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, a bargain is never attracted.”
– Graham Norton
‘People say:’ How do you stay so young? ‘I say, well, good lighting, good doctors and good makeup. “
– Dolly Parton
“My face is wearing all my memories. Why should I delete them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I have so many wrinkles; I should be sponsored by a pruning company!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles only have to indicate where the smile has been.”
– Mark Twain
“Listen. I wish I could tell you that it will be better. But it won’t get better. You get better.”
– Joan Rivers
“Gracely aging means being flexible, being open, being able to change, enjoy change and love yourself.”
– Wendy Whelan
Funny Birthday Cities For Men about the inevitable changes in life
“A securities broker insisted on buying a share that would triple its value every year. I said to him:” At my age I don’t even buy green bananas. “
– Claude Pepper
“A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.”
– George Burns
“The middle age is when your broad spirit and narrow waist start to change place.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You are only as old as the woman you feel.”
– Groucho Marx
“Everyone can be confident with a full hair. But a self -assured bald man – there is your diamond in the rough.”
– Larry David
“In middle age, the soul should open like a rose, not close like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Middle age is the uncomfortable period in which the father’s time starts to catch up with mother nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I am very happy to be here. Let’s be honest, at my age, I am very happy to be somewhere.”
– George Burns
“The middle age is when you are confronted with two temptations and you choose the one who brings you home at 9 am.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I mean, I am not a child anymore. I could go tomorrow. And I hope I will go tomorrow. I have not gone today.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life is a short journey. You will find out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I have been in therapy. I now know enough about myself to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
– Ogden Nash
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you would rather not do.”
– Mark Twain
‘Happy birthday for one [Mom/Dad] Who is smart, funny and handsome, from one [daughter/son] Who inherited all your best qualities. “
– Good/smart child
“Old age is when you hate the swimming suit of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to be read.”
– George Burns
“I am sixty years old. That is 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Funny Birthday Cities for Colleagues
“Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow and spit, and everyone runs to get a piece?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Every year on my birthday I start a new playlist with the title after my current age, so that I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a kind of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Thanks to modern medical progress such as antibiotics, nasal spray and cola light, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”
– Dave Barry
“Real terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class leads the country.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The purpose of life is to take everything you made as a child weird and to get people to pay you money for it when you are a parent.”
– David Freeman
“You know that you get old when all the names in your black book have MD behind them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We could certainly delay the aging process if it had to make its way through the congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scares me.”
– George Burns
“Fighting aging is like the war against drugs. It is expensive, does more harm than good and has been proven to never end.”
– Amy Poehler
“The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It speeds up, pushes you around and laughs away.”
– John Mortimer
“I thought about how people seem to read the Bible much more as they get older, and then it penetrated me – they cram for their final exams.”
– George Carlin
“Old age comes at a bad time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let aging down. It is too difficult to go up again.”
– John Wagner
“The middle age is when you are at home on a Saturday night and the phone is about, and you hope it is not for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t stop playing because we get old. We are getting old because we stop playing.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I knew I would live for so long, I would have taken care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I have too many wrinkles to have this small money!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“You know that you get old when you bend to bind your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you are down there.”
– George Burns
“It is true, some wine improves with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.”
– Abigail van Buren
Do you want more inspiration for parties soon? Then view these inspiring birthday gods, the short birthday gods in this post and the inspiring wedding cities here. In addition, these with short wedding cities.