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If you look like me, you often need a smile or three to get through a stressful, boring or just bad day.
So to help you with that, I want to share 105 of the most funny work quotes.
Hilarious who make you laugh and help you release stress. Somewhat inspiring to lift your mood.
And those you can share with your colleagues at the office and your work bestie to make their day a little better and lighter.
Funny stress lighting work quotes
“The brain is a beautiful organ; It starts to work the moment you get up in the morning and don’t stop until you enter the office. “
– Robert Frost
“I always arrive late at the office, but I am doing well by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I’m sick, I know I lie. “
– Rita Rudner
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous demolition is the conviction that someone’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell
“Doing nothing is very difficult to do … you never know when you’re done.”
– Leslie Nielsen
“My resume is just a list of things that I hope you never ask to do.”
– Scott Adams
“Most people work just hard enough so as not to be fired and just enough money to be paid to not stop.”
– George Carlin
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep touching the escape key, but I’m still working.”
– Unknown
“If in one word you had to identify the reason why the human race did not reach and will never reach the full potential, that word would be” meetings. “
– Dave Barry
“I love deadlines. I love the Woohing sound that they make while they fly by. ‘
– Douglas Adams
“I hate it when I lose things at work, such as pens, papers, common sense and dreams.”
– Sandra Shea
“The closest to perfection is that a person ever comes when he fills in an application form.”
– Stanley J. Randall
“Hard work never killed anyone, but why would you take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen
“Sometimes I spend the entire meeting asking how they got the big meeting table through the door.”
– Unknown
“If hard work is the key to success, most people prefer to choose the lock.”
– Claude McDonald
“The light at the end of the tunnel is eliminated due to cuts.”
– Robert Townsend
“A meeting is an event where the minutes are made and hours are wasted.”
– James T. Kirk
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. ‘
– Michel Audiard
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re done.”
– Groucho Marx
“I have reached Inbox Zero several times in my career. Every time by removing everything in panic. “
– Unknown
Funny working quitors with office humor
“Colleagues are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half is not that clear. “
– Unknown
“The majority of what we call management consists of making people difficult to get their work done.”
– Peter Drucker
“I choose a lazy person to do it hard, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
– Bill Gates
“The reward for good work is more work.”
– Francesca Elisia
“Teamwork means that you never have to take on all guilt.”
– Stephen Hawking
“Defeat the 5 -hour rush, leave the work at noon.”
– Unknown
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter.”
– John Gotti
“Time is an illusion. Lunch time double. “
– Douglas Adams
“I think Smithers chose me because of my motivating skills. Everyone says they have to work much harder when I’m in the area. “
– Homer Simpson
“There are a huge number of managers who have retired.”
– Peter Drucker
“No man goes for his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx
“I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday and 5% Friday.”
– Anonymously
“I’m not bossy, I just know what you should do.”
– Fay Collins
“An expert is a man who tells you in such a way in such a way in such a way that you think the confusion is your own fault.”
– William Castle
“If A is equal to success, the formula A = X + Y + Z. Where X works. Y is playing. Z keeps your mouth shut. “
– Albert Einstein
“Proud, dedication and teamwork are words they use to make you work for free.”
– Sarah Kelly
“My boss said that I had to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my salary. ‘
– Unknown
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit for hours and stare. ‘
– Oscar Wilde
“I tell my employees to think of me as a father who does not let them in his will.”
– Barry Goldwater
Inspirational Funny Work Quotes
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
“The difference between try and triumph is just a small umph!”
– Marvin Phillips
“The only thing that ever sat his way to success was a chicken.”
– Sarah Brown
“People often say that motivation does not last. Well, don’t bathe either. That is why we recommend it daily. “
– Zig Ziglar
“Even if you are on the right track, you will be run over if you are just sitting there.”
– Will Rogers
“People who never do more than they are paid are never paid more than they do.”
– Elbert Hubbard
“You can’t have a dream of a million dollars with a minimum wage worth ethics.”
– Zig Ziglar
“Stay away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real quantities give you the feeling that you too can be great. “
– Mark Twain
“Hard work defeats talent as a talent does not work hard.”
– Tim Notke
“The only place that is successful before the work is in the dictionary.”
– Vince Lombardi
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you like what you do, you will be successful. ‘
– Mark Twain
“Education costs money. But again, also ignorance. ‘
– Sir Claus Moser
“Where people do not enjoy, they rarely produce good work.”
– David Ogilvy
“Creativity makes yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which to keep. ‘
– Scott Adams
“Find a job that you like and you add five days every week.”
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Work until your bank account looks like a telephone number.”
– Richard Branson
“Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on Penny Jobs. “
– Mary Kay Ash
“Success is like achieving an important birthday and think you are exactly the same.”
– Audrey Hepburn
“The expert in something was once a beginner, but the beginner probably had more fun.”
– Unknown
“There are no shortcuts for every place that it is worth going.”
– Beverly sills
“Success goes from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
– Winston Churchill
“Think like a proton. Always be positive. “
– Unknown
“The elevator for success is out of use. You have to use the stairs … a step at the same time. “
– Joe Girard
Funny working quitors for your colleagues
“It is a funny feeling to work with people you consider as your colleagues and to realize that they are actually young enough to be your children.”
– Alan Alda
“When I was 16, I worked in a pet store, and she fired me because … they had three snakes and one day I braided them.”
– Steven Wright
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I am not there, I will go to work. “
– Robert Orben
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him:” whose? “
– Don Marquis
“I have all the money I ever need when I die at four o’clock.”
– Henny Youngman
‘Oh, you hate work? Why didn’t you say that? There is a support group for that. It is called everyone and they meet at the bar. “
– Drew Carey
“Many guys nowadays have a BA, MD or Ph.D. Unfortunately they have no job “
– Fats Domino
“If your boss takes you down, look at him through the teeth of a fork and introduce him to prison.”
– David Brent
“I don’t argue, I just explain why I’m right.”
– Jane Goodall
“I’ve always wanted to be someone, but now I realize that I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They are about to announce the loterine numbers. “
– Homer Simpson
“It is better to let one person work with you than three people who work for you.”
– Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The secret of life is honesty and honest trade. If you can falsify that, you have it. “
– Groucho Marx
“Never postpone what you can completely avoid tomorrow.”
– Steven Wright
“I’m not late, I just love an entrance.”
– Marilyn Monroe
“Many people stop searching for work as soon as they find a job.”
– Zig Ziglar
“Work is the best in the world, so we always have to save something from it tomorrow.”
– Don Herold
“I used to work at McDonald’s that minimum wage. Do you know what that means? Do you know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like: “Hey if I could pay you less, I would do that, but it’s against the law.” ‘
– Chris Rock
“A baseball game is twice as fun when you see it in the time of the company.”
– William C. Feather
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
– Bette Midler
“People sitting are paid more than people who get up.”
– Ogden Nash
Short funny working quitors for the office
“Commission: a group of people who cannot do anything else individually, but can decide together that nothing can be done.”
– Fred Allen
“If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Friday, he wouldn’t want me here either.”
– James Johnson
“The only thing you need in this life is ignorance and trust; Then success is certain. “
– Mark Twain
“Choose a job that you love, and you never have to work a day in your life … because that field probably doesn’t take on.”
– Dorothy Parker
“Dream big, work hard, stay focused and surround yourself with funny people.”
– Carol Burnett
“Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you donate blood. “
– Bill Murray
“I am a friend of the Workingman, and I would rather be his friend than being one.”
– Clarence Darrow
“If you try to fail and succeed, what did you do?”
– George Carlin
“Success is just a matter of happiness, ask every failure.”
– Earl Wilson
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
– Groucho Marx
“A cupboard is just a padded cell without a door.”
– Mitchell Ratner
“If you don’t succeed at first, Skydiving is definitely not for you.”
– Steven Wright
“Thursday comes and the week disappeared.”
– George Herbert
“The problem with unemployment is that the moment you wake up in the morning that you are working.”
– Slappy White
“I’m not afraid of hard work. I have done so much of it, I know what it looks like. “
– Bob Hope
“There can be no crisis next week. My schedule is already full. “
– Henry Kissinger
“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you can eventually become a boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost
“I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.”
– Sam Williams
“It’s finally Friday, I’m free again. I had my motorcycle run for a wild weekend. “
– George Jones
“I’m not lazy, I’m on an energy -saving mode.”
– Jim Harper
“If you don’t succeed in the first instance, then redefine success.”
– Unknown
“The best way to appreciate your work is to imagine that you are without one.”
– Oscar Wilde
Do you want more fun quotes and motivation for your work? Then view the short funny work quotes here and also these hilarious work quotes. In addition, these funny team work quotes, the positive workplace quotes in this message, these with hard work quotes and the motivational quotes for work here.